Marco Rubio Is Not a Scientist, ManS

Is Marco Rubio, Florida's junior senator, a scientist? No, he tells GQ, twice, when asked how old the earth is:

I'm not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that's a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States. [...] I'm not a scientist. I don't think I'm qualified to answer a question like that. [...] I think parents should be able to teach their kids what their faith says, what science says. Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I'm not sure we'll ever be able to answer that. It's one of the great mysteries.

Okay, guy, we get it. Not a scientist! So: what is Marco Rubio?

Marco Rubio is... trying too hard to distract us from the fact that he can't name an Afrika Bambaataa song:

GQ: Your autobiography also has to be the first time a politician has cited a love of Afrika Bambaataa. Did you have a favorite Afrika Bambaataa song?

Marco Rubio: All the normal ones. People forget how dominant Public Enemy became in the mid 80s. No one talks about how transformative they were. And then that led to the 90s and the sort of East Coast v. West Coast stuff, which is kinda when I came of age.

Marco Rubio is... desperate to let everyone know he loves rap, and also probably going to get away with name-dropping N.W.A. even though President Obama caught shit for inviting "conscious" rapper and frequent newsboy cap-wearer Common to some White House poetry event:

GQ: Your three favorite rap songs?
Marco Rubio: "Straight Outta Compton" by N.W.A. "Killuminati" by Tupac. Eminem's "Lose Yourself."

Marco Rubio is... a huge Eminem fan:

"The only guy that speaks at any sort of depth is, in my mind, Eminem. He's a guy that does music that talks about the struggles of addiction and before that violence, with growing up in a broken family, not being a good enough father."

Marco Rubio is... a hater:

GQ: So, Pitbull's too cheesy?
Marco Rubio: His songs are all party songs. There's no message for him, compared to like an Eminem. [...] I mean, he's not Tupac. He's not gonna be writing poetry.

[GQ, image via AP]