Last week we asked you to help us find gifts for the kind of people who spend most of their time trolling the internet for weird stuff: print-on-demand books about celebrity dick size, nonsensical custom-made t-shirts, and ill-advised search-engine-optimized gift results. As we expected, you returned a selection of complete and utter crap — but beautiful, weird crap. Some of the best:

CassieNYC recommends the Sarah Palin Sexy Shoes 2013 Calendar for the conservative foot fetishist in your life. "It's gotta be the shoes!" writes designer Whiggy_Tease.

(Cafepress, $22.00)

"Do you know someone who is extremely preoccupied with Internet 'haters'?" Caity Weaver asks. "Does that person own an iPhone? Get them this." Or really anything from Zazzle User Supernova23a, including "I'm The Guy Your Wife Really Needs I'm A Writer iPhone 4 Covers" and "You're Looking At The Best Writer Buttons."

(Zazzle, $41.35)

"If you search on Amazon for 'gifts for mom,' this wine stopper is the third suggestion," Mr. Tripps writes. I totally get that. Your mom loves wine, and dick.

(Amazon, $11.99)

"Remember Big Dog tees? There's one for everyone and you can buy them on the internet," Leah Beckmann lets us know. This one is my personal favorite.

(Big Dogs, $17.99)

And my choice: this "Branch Davidian With a Sense of Humor" tank top — a fashionable, funny option for any Branch Davidians in your life. Help your friends tell the world that they might belong to an infamous cult whose members were killed by the F.B.I. two decades ago — but they're still laughing!

(Idakoos, $12.99)