If you've been trying and failing to get pregnant by a French man (looking at you, Halle), don't worry – it's not you, it's him. According to a study in the appropriately named journal, Human Reproduction, the average sperm count of French men has dropped 32.3% since 1989, or 1.9% a year.
Over 26,000 men participated in the study, which also found that the percentage of "normally shaped sperm" fell by 33.4%.
But don't stress too much, Frenchmen and women who wish to have half-French babies; another doctor, Dr. Allen Pacey, says French sperm is still potent enough to get the job done.
"The change in sperm concentration described, 73.6 to 49.9 million per millilitre [on average for a 35-year-old], is still well within the normal range and above the lower threshold of concern used by doctors which is suggestive of male infertility, 15 million per millilitre."
Translation: French dudes can still get you pregnant.
Scientists aren't sure why the decrease occurred but, as they're wont to do, they do have a few theories.
Professor Richard Sharpe, from the University of Edinburgh, blames our "modern lifestyle."
"We still do not know which are the most important factors, but perhaps the most likely is a combination, a double whammy of changes, such as a high-fat diet combined with increased environmental chemical exposures."
So, basically: we're all going to be sterile soon. The French, always on the vanguard of everything.