Bath salts, as it turns out, are no match for near-octogenarians who spent decades professionally riding bulls, a lesson Charles Smith found out the hard way. When Smith wrecked his truck in League City, Texas, he did what any reasonable person stoned to shit on bath salts would do: He grabbed his rifle and tried to break into a nearby house. Unfortunately, he picked the wrong house.
79-year-old Ervin Brittnacher (amazing name) was at home when he noticed a sound coming from outside.
"I heard a ruckus at the door, walked to the door, and saw the young man holding a gun," he told League City Police Department Sgt. Tamara Spencer. "I used to own a nightclub, and I knew it was never a good idea to talk to people holding guns."
So, instead of talking, Brittnacher "throat punched [the suspect] and karate chopped the side of his neck," knocking Smith out cold. Spencer said Smith was still incoherent when police arrived. Brittnacher, however, "was just about as cool as he could be."
Mike Brittnacher, Ervin's son, said his father used to ride bulls for a living and still bales hay on his farm.
"He's a pretty tough man," he said. "He'd do anything for anybody. You wouldn't want to mess with him."
Smith was booked and charged with burglary of a habitation with intent to commit assault.
[Screengrab via ABC News]