Someone in L.A. is having a really shitty day, even though he may not know it yet. That's because a Silver Lake resident named Mack Reed (not to be confused with Gawker's Max Read, who would never find himself in the vicinity of marijuana) just so happened to stumble upon $175,000 worth of weed buried in his backyard, as chronicled on his Tumblr today. Reed promptly called the LAPD ("fucking narc, dude," says someone looking up from a bong rip), which means that there is a person in the L.A. drug game in a lot of trouble right now.
Reed is putting solar panelling in his home, and the final step before the panels could be placed involved a tech from Sungevity, the panelling company, taking detailed photos and notes of Reed's home. In his backyard, Reed went to show the tech an in-ground hot tub installed by the property's previous owner. In the (empty) hot tub, he found a bag. In the bag was weed. Jars and bags and vacuum sealed packages of weed ("Lemon Haze" and "Bubble Mix," for any stoners reading this and softly crying/masturbating.)
This presented a bit of a problem for Reed, who just discovered a shit ton of weed on his property in the presence of a total stranger.
I hop down inside the vault and haul it out - It's wet from the morning's rain, but not especially heavy - maybe 20 pounds. "What … the … ?"
"What?" He's getting ready to jump into the vault to read the power-rating sticker on the side of the tub.
"This … this isn't mine," I stammer, realizing how suspicious that sounds. I haul it up and put it on the drawn hatch.
"Who the hell could have put this here? The last time I was down here was 2 months ago to drain and refill the tub, and this wasn't here."
I undo the clip from the grommets on its soggy lips and open it.
And all I can do is stare and curse - a lot - and stare some more.
Thousands of dense little marijuana buds stare back at me, through industrial vacuum-sealed plastic, through thick Ziploc bags, through the crystal-argyle pattern of glass jelly-jars - all labeled in looping Sharpie letters with names like "Lemon Haze" and "Bubble Mix."
"What is it?"
"It's, um …" I venture.
I show him. "It's dope, It's a big bag of marijuana."
Indeed it was. All told, someone stashed 61 packages of weed in Reed's backyard, which is now in the custody of the LAPD. The good news for the people out of $175,000 worth of weed — well, okay, there's no good news — is that once they comes back to retrieve the bag, they'll at least know what happened to it.
Also, if they plan on trying to extract the weed from the LAPD, they'll can at least pitch a reality show to Blue Streak. All they have to do is infiltrate the LAPD and suddenly be promoted to detective thanks to preternatural ability to solve crimes, where they will then have access to the on-site evidence room holding the good. Good luck, dudes!
[thanks for the tip, "Anon DanceParty," photo via Shutterstock]