Pay No Attention to This Top Secret Orbiting Space WeaponS

Look out the window: nice day, probably, eh? Sure, sure. And how about sports? Lots of sports going on right now. The United States Air Force would like to take this time to formally urge you to keep your mind on these and other soothing matters, and not on this morning's launch of the Top Secret Orbiting Space Weapon(?).

Very soon, the Air Force is scheduled to launch its "X-37B Orbital Test Vehicle" from Cape Canaveral. Why don't you be sure to go to lunch during that time? Or immerse yourself in a work project? Or take a nap? Because this X-37B is not something that you need to worry about, think about, or be concerned about, under any circumstances. There's very little point to wasting your time even glancing over the LAT's story about it, honestly.

Because of its clandestine nature, some industry analysts have theorized it could be a precursor to an orbiting weapon, capable of dropping bombs or disabling foreign satellites as it circles the globe.

But the Pentagon has repeatedly said the X-37B is simply a "test bed" for other technologies.

Man oh man, just look at that cloud up there, in the exact opposite direction of Cape Canaveral.

[LAT. Photo: AP. The fact that there's an AP photo of this thing probably means it's not that secret at all, so, again, just stop thinking about it.]