John McAfee Is Back in the U.S.S

After a bizarre, month-long ordeal during which the software pioneer faced questioning for murder and spent a week in Guatemalan prison (after Vice accidentally revealed his location), John McAffe is back in the United States. He arrived earlier today in Miami after Guatemalan authorities deported him.

McAfee told ABC News the deportation was sudden ("They took me out of my cell and put me on a freaking airplane. I had no choice in the matter."), but not so much so that he didn't have time to make a stupid joke. "It was the most gracious expulsion I've ever experienced," he said. "Compared to my past two wives that expelled me this isn't a terrible trip." Har Har.

From the AP's description, his trip from jail to the airport created a mini-shit show in Guatemala City.

Bystanders in Guatemala City stopped to stare at the passing police convoy that escorted McAfee to the Central American country's international airport. People at the airport crowded around the immigration truck carrying McAfee, straining to take pictures of him with their cellphones

The scene wasn't much different in Miami. Upon landing, McAfee, who'd been sitting in his own row in coach, was called to the plane's front by security officials, who escorted him to customs.

"They asked us to please stay seated and said, 'Mr. John McAfee, come to the front,' and he did," said Maria Claridge, a 36-year-old photographer from Fort Lauderdale. "He walked very peacefully, chin up. He didn't seem stressed."

"I thought he was either a diplomat or a politician," she said. "It just seemed eerie to be traveling on an airplane with someone who was in trouble."

Not long after, he arrived at a hotel in South Beach, where, of course, he took to his blog. "I have no phone, no money, no contact information," he wrote. When the AP attempted to contact him, he refused to comment, saying he was waiting on a phonecall from his girlfriend, who didn't accompany him to the States.

Reuters, however, got some insight into his plans before he left Guatemala. "I'm just going to hang in Miami for a while. I like Miami," he said. "There is a great sushi place there and I really like sushi."

Which, yes. That's as good a ending as any for his insane ordeal. Sushi in South Beach.

[Image via AP]