Poll: Even Idiots Believe in Global Warming Now

Global warming (or "climate change"), the well-documented rise in our planet's temperatures due to the heat-trapping effects of carbon dioxide, is a completely accepted phenomenon among people who—due to their fundamental rationality and common sense—are not idiots. But among our nation's idiots, it has always been a controversial idea. No longer.

For many years, America's idiots have had doubts about global warming. Why is there still snow in the winter? What if temperatures are randomly controlled by god's wrath? And how about the fact that I like my SUV, bitch? Many qualified scientists have struggled in vain to answer these questions to the satisfaction of America's idiots. But according to a new poll, good ol' Mother Nature, or Jesus, or whoever the fuck may have done the job for them, what with all the storms and whatnot. Yes, almost 80% of Americans believe in global warming. The key finding, though, is that support for the clearly true idea is gaining strength among idiots:

The biggest change in the polling is among people who trust scientists only a little or not at all. About 1 in 3 of the people surveyed fell into that category.

Within that highly skeptical group, 61 percent now say temperatures have been rising over the past 100 years. That's a substantial increase from 2009, when the AP-GfK poll found that only 47 percent of those with little or no trust in scientists believed the world was getting warmer.

So yes, America still boasts a shockingly high proportion of idiots. But at least three out of every five of those idiots still possess the mental dexterity to change their mind about something when that thing is demonstrated in a way that involves flooding said idiots' houses. Floods were in the Bible. Do the math.

This global warming stuff could be a problem.

[AP. Photo: AP]