Eddie Floyd is a soul legend, who recorded several fine singles for Stax, including the ingenious "Knock on Wood." Now he is 75 and back with an album of Christmas originals, I'll Be Your Santa Claus. You'd probably expect the title track to be a little creepy (Santa gives toys, he doesn't throw dick, damn it), but not this level of moany creepiness:

The snow is falling down
It's so cold outside
But don't you worry
I'll keep you warm
We'll make love till morning comes
Santa's gonna love you
Santa's gonna kiss you
Santa's gonna give you (mmm) everything you've been missing

Then, on repetition, the "Mmm"s become a lot more sexual, telegraphing the word "scrumptious" in a single syllable.

Just think: on Christmas morning, your stack of presents could include Santa's penis. This song is like "Dick in a Box," but serious.