We Will Avoid the Fiscal Cliff Because the Members of the House Are Tired and Want to Go Home

When I was in college I would do this thing where I would procrastinate on papers for days or weeks or months before finally buckling in and getting to work with, oh, 12 hours left before the thing was due. Then I would work furiously for a bit before giving up in the end and wrapping the paper up as sloppily as possible. It would be 3 a.m. and I would be in the library and I would say to myself, "I'm tired and I need to go home." I wasn't very good at college which is why I'm now a blogger — that's a lesson for you children.

In a related story, this is why the House is going to pass the Senate's bill to avoid the fiscal cliff:

An easy way to avoid being terrible at your job is to not procrastinate so much that you force yourself to use being tired and wanting to go home as an excuse. Of course, the members of the House — and Congress at large — weren't "procrastinating" as much as they were "dangling the fate of our nation and the lives of essentially powerless citizens in egotistical and craven attempts at leveraging political power," but let's not split hairs.

This current Congress is the least productive since they started keeping records because, like lazy college students, they — well, okay, Republicans — have no real desire to get shit done. Now the House is tired and it's time for them to go home. Here's your bill. Sorry that's it late, professor, it won't happen again.

[via Joseph Weisenthal, image via Getty]