Another fine specimen from Toddlers & Tiaras, 18-month-old Kendyl is being raised to understand the importance of both beauty and money simultaneously (see how she likes bills and how her mom Jessica asks her, "You want some money?" as a very Anna Nicole means of prompting). So she's already doing great, as evidenced by her tendency to smack people and herself, as well as her expletive uttering (reminder: she's 18 months old).

Her dad, Matt, is a mechanic-tattoo artist with a pageant-themed, black-light friendly neck tattoo and eyebrow tattoos, because what T&T has always needed is more of a scene vibe. He does a funny diatribe at the end of the clip above about a child who ranked higher than his in a previous competition while wearing black shoes and no socks. He really hates this a lot. It's kind of like the fashion etiquette of John Waters meets the trashiness of...well, John Waters, actually.

Bonus: I love this kind of local puff piece about residents who are about to be profiled on reality TV. "We're just trying to stay positive so they won't have anything to twist," says Jessica. Savvy.