Joe Biden, your slightly creepy yet enchanting uncle, welcomed a host of new (and returning) senators to the Capitol today, and boy, was he happy to be the center of attention. If you've ever wanted to understand the type of personality it takes to be a lifelong politician, please consult the above video of Biden's epic schmoozing, compiled by TPM. Joe Biden, everybody. What a professional.

Of course, Biden wasn't all just kisses and hugs and face rubs. He also said some really bizarre things while violating the personal space of various people:

"Spread your legs, you're gonna be frisked!" Biden quipped to the husband of freshman Sen. Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota after photographers capturing the reenacted swearing in asked him to drop his hands for the photo.

I mean...


"If you need any help on your pecs, let me know," Biden told a rather-built guest of South Carolina Republican Tim Scott who was identified by the senator as a command sergeant major in the Army.

These are the types of casualties that are the result of the Joe Biden Experience. Imagine working with this guy every single day. Would you love it or want to jump off of a building? Are those mutually exclusive? Here are some bonus images of Joe Biden, Vice President of Unintentional Hilarity.


[via TPM]