25-year-old Arlene Mena was spotted outside her condo building Wednesday morning looking "like a very drunk person" and "trying to direct traffic" in the middle of State Road A1A.
The self-identified stripper, who was wearing a tank-top, cut-off jeans, and tall boots, gave up after a while, and threw a traffic cone at a passing motorist.
She struck Dieter Heinrich's car, breaking the vehicle's side mirror to the tune of $300 in damages.
Heinrich confronted Mena, who proceeded to spit in his face as his kids watched from the back seat of the car. A passer-by, Noel von Kauffman, tried to hold Mena back, but she attacked him and scratched his wrist.
After von Kauffman and Heinrich finally managed to subdue Mena, she tried to excuse her behavior by claiming to be involved in a candid camera TV show that was currently being filmed. When that failed, she told the two men she was a federal agent and that she was friends with the mayor of Hallandale Beach who would make trouble for the two if they didn't release her.
At her bond hearing yesterday, Mena tried one last excuse: The entire incident was performance art.
To which Judge John "Jay" Hurley responded: "I suggest not wearing boots and doing artwork in the middle of a roadway. I would start right there and everything will start looking up for you."
Her bond was set at $1,000.