Mrs. de Prisco's 8th grade World Civ class was rocked Monday by the news that the celebrated relationship between entertainment behemoths Taylor Swift, 23, and Harry Styles, 18, had at last run its course, crashing violently onto jagged rocks off the coast of the British Virgin Islands and sending splinters of its hull into the surf.
Page Six reports that the separation occurred following a "blow-up fight" on the island of Virgin Gorda (Spanish for "Fat Virgin (Who Can't Drive)"), where the couple had recently been photographed posing for pictures with fans.
The paper notes that Swift "looked glum and introspective" as she took a boat alone to the airport. Indeed, someone on Twitter posted a photo of a girl who appears to be Taylor Swift taking what looks like the loneliest boat ride in history on her way to Port Sad where a U.S. customs officer asked her to check herself, girl, but NOT her heaps of emotional baggage. That she can carry.
On Saturday, Swift posted an ominous message on Twitter that prompted some fans to speculate about a break-up and other fans to call people CUNTS for trying to start #drama on @TaylorSwift13's Twitter stfu CUNTS.
...'til you put me down.— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) January 6, 2013
The phrase is a snippet of a lyric from Swift's song "I Knew You Were Trouble," rumored to have been inspired by Styles following the pair's brief fling last April.
The couple has been dating for ten months in dog years. One month in human years.
Re-live the highs and highers of their approximately 35 day relationship here: