Willow Smith, the human result of a trip to the most advanced Build a Bear Workshop in all the land by platonic friends Will Smith and Jada Koren Pinkett Smith, was 10 years old when she released the cute, infectious ditty about brain damage and ejaculating hair extensions, "Whip My Hair." Now she is 12, apparently listening to Radiohead (or someone is listening to the band for her) and, most importantly, she is pissy, as evidenced by her new song "Sugar and Spice." Over a beat that excerpts and loops Radiohead's "Codex" so that it sounds as Coldplayish as possible, Willow whines, "I tried to be sugar and spice, but I'm melancholy and can't do anything right." To which I say: You're 12. It gets worse.
"I just want silence," frets Willow, 12.
"They want to puncture me and wonder why I bleed," complains Willow, 12.
"Inject my soul with darkness, and take my heart and go market it," mocks Willow, 12.
"The past is like a tear stain," laments Willow, 12.
"I write circles in the sky while I'm drowning," shares Willow, 12.
"The monsters under my bed keep making noise at night," sings Willow, who by 12, is now too old to believe in monsters under her bed. She really can't do anything right.