The most exciting public relations industry development of the day is undoubtedly the official launch of the hottest new PR agency in town: $100 Dollar PR. That is actually the name of the new PR agency: $100 Dollar PR. What's that screaming sound you hear? Oh, it is just the name "$100 Dollar PR" screaming "quality."
We are happy to give $100 Dollar PR this free bit of publicity on its launch day, because the very existence of $100 Dollar PR just goes to show that PR people are just as broke-ass as everyone else out there right now. (Finally, something that PR people and journalists have in common.) From the press release:
$100 Dollar PR's concept is simple, yet comprehensive. Clients will be able to get their message out to targeted media contacts via a professionally written press release that is distributed by one of the industry's leading distribution services, www.vocus.com. In addition, $100 Dollar PR will provide the critical follow up contact often overlooked by those without experience in the public relations business. In essence, every client will receive the same quality of service one would expect from a high priced public relations company. One of the many great benefits of the service is that it can be used just once, or many times throughout the year, for virtually any newsworthy purpose.
Allow us to translate: "We are broke. I mean broke. It ain't so easy to round up clients as a lone PR person these days. This shit is dog eat dog out here. My fucking water got turned off last month. My water. I was showering in my neighbor's hose. That is not conducive to projecting a professional business image. So tell you what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna write a fucking press release for anybody for a hundred bucks. Flat fee. No shit. I will write a press release on your new beauty parlor or birthday clown business or liquor store for a measly hundred bucks. I'll even throw in a follow up email that will automatically go into reporters' 'Spam' folder at no cost. I'm fucking hustling out here. I write press releases to pay my bills. I write one press release to pay my telephone bill. I write another press release to pay my automobill. I am the 'quickie 15-minute handjob in the back of a car' of the PR industry. And there's no fucking shame in my game."
Why not give $100 Dollar PR your PR business? They'll probably do just as good a job as your fancy PR firm, and their price is much closer to the actual value of a press release (a nickel).
[That name again: $100 Dollar PR]