Sex Survey Shocker: White Couples Don't Sleep NakedS

Another day, another huge survey of American couples reinforcing the fact that you are weird, unlovable, and never getting laid, just like everyone else. We want to flag one SHOCKING sex factoid (sextoid), amid all the other shocking sextoids in this humdrum survey.

Let us preface this by noting that the survey sample was mostly white and over age 35, so, when you form hurtful stereotypes based on the following sextoid, please be sure to deploy those stereotypes against the correct demographic groups. Okay. Here we go. One of the researcher's top suggestions for improving sexual satisfaction is sleeping nude with your partner: "34% of U.S. women and 38% of men sleep nude with their partner." Do you know what that means?

SHOCKING SEXTOID MATH INDICATES THAT THE MAJORITY OF COUPLES ARE SLEEPING IN PAJAMAS—EVEN IN THEIR SEX BED.

This explains everything (about white people!) (frigid, sexless).

[USA Today. Photo: Shutterstock]