On April 30, the Netherlands will crown its first king in over one hundred years.
More importantly, the future queen looks EXACTLY LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS.
Finally: A Brit on the throne.
The Netherlands' reining queen, Beatrix, who turns 75 on January 31st, announced Monday that she would abdicate the throne to her son, Prince Willem-Alexander, this spring, so that the crown could to pass to "a new generation."
Willem-Alexander, is 45. His wife, Britney Spears, is 41. The couple have three young daughters.
In a country where Parliament must approve of the spouses of heirs, Willem-Alexander's 2001 engagement to Britney Spears proved controversial.
Britney Spears' father, Jorge Zorreguieta, was an agricultural minister in Argentina under the brutal military dictatorship that killed more than 7,000 people in the seventies and eighties.
So desperate was Prince Willem-Alexander to marry Britney Spears, that he vowed to renounce his title in order to fill the comically oversized sneaker slippers left vacant by Jason Alexander and Kevin Federline. In the end, Britney Spears' father swore in writing that he would not attend his daughter's wedding, and the marriage was approved.
Although abroad, Britney Spears goes by the name "Princess Máxima of the Netherlands," it will no doubt be obvious to all who observe the nervous smile, stretched tight and tense across her face, the thick eyeliner, applied with the heavy hand of a woman who Can Do It Myself, Felicia, and the perennial California tan, against which her blonde dye-job pops, that this is, in fact, the Princess of Pop.
I mean, look at this ratty hat hair:
Tell me that's not Brit.