Two new breeds of dirty old dogs have been added to the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show before the organization's February competition while, for the one hundred thirty sixth straight year, humans on walking on hands and knees remain banned from competing.
This year's n00bs are the treeing walker coonhound, which insists it is not racist, and the russell terrier, whose name contains no potentially offensive slur but who you can tell doesn't like Dutch people.
The treeing walker is a good boy, he's a very good boy, such a good boy he is, yes he is. He possesses what the American Kennel Club describes as "superb...treeing ability" (the ability to be a tree, I guess?) and is identified as "intelligent, confident, and sociable" #divadog.
He also can can FUCKING TALK, which, no wonder they decided to let him in:
It has a clear, ringing bugle voice.
According to the United Kennel Club, treeing walkers descended from criminals — specifically "a stolen dog from Tennessee of unknown origin," (probably a rat or something); it would seem the club's background checks aren't as thorough as they used to be.
The russell terrier, the AKC explains, is considered the "ultimate working earth terrier" due to its lil peanut stature (10" to 12" tall) and weird rack ("unique chest.") This breed grew up in bags:
Their origin dates back to the 1800's in England where they were utilized for fox hunting and carried horseback in terrier bags.
New dog breeds are considered for the show every year based on their popularity across the U.S. and compelling personal narratives.