As you slip into bed tonight wondering how you spent another night watching television for six hours, think about the other types of fun you could be having. Like, for instance, getting hammered and stealing multiple vehicles, including an ambulance and two cars. And also trying to steal two horses. Definitely trying to steal two horses.
That was the kind of fun had this weekend by Matthew Anderson Todd, the upstanding 24-year-old resident of Boaz, Ala. somberly pictured above. Oh, did good ol' Matthew live his life.
Police say it all began when Todd was arrested for DUI after a car crash. He was taken to Marshall Medical Center South for treatment. Police say while at the hospital, he walked out, got into a running ambulance and drove away.
Totally solid idea. After stalling the ambulance, Matthew wandered off...
"He walked across a pasture and got into a barn where he tried to saddle up two horses," says Boaz Assistant Chief Todd Adams. "One was too wild for him and the other he appeared to be too intoxicated to properly saddle the horse."
I'd imagine that he was also too intoxicated to properly saddle the wild horse, but that was the least of his problems.
Police say Anderson then stole a car, which he crashed. They say he then stole another car and got away.
TWAS THE PERFECT CRIME.
However, on Saturday police say Anderson started bleeding from his original injuries. He sought treatment back at the hospital, was recognized and then arrested.
Or not. But he should become a party planner.