The Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers 34-31 in Super Bowl XLVII, but there almost wasn't any second half at all — an electrical screw-up at the Superdome plunged the stadium into darkness just a few minutes after Beyoncé's jaw-dropping halftime performance. Read on for more about the Blackout Bowl:

Beyoncé Knowles Is the King of Pop

When Michael Jackson died, people clamored to determine the rightful heir to the King of Pop. None of the contemporary young male singers batted around—Usher, Ne-Yo, certainly not Chris Brown (despite his mother's grandiose claims)—fit the bill. Talent abounds, but none of these guys quite has MJ's levels of musical virtuosity, fascinating eccentricity, and the ability to package them in appropriately surreal performance. But now it is clear that by turning to men (and man-children), we were looking in the wrong place: the heir to Michael Jackson's throne is none other than King B. More »

Here's Why the Lights Went Out in New Orleans: The Super Bowl Blew a Fuse

No, Ray Lewis did not kill the lights. Bane, the human Goatse, wasn't to blame. And it wasn't the Frogman's dedicated beard dryer, nyuck nyuck. Rather, the explanation that's been offered as to why the Superdome mysteriously went dark last night, holding America hostage to stretching football players, confused anchors, and an Oreo hashtag, was something far more mundanely vague—an "abnormality" in the electrical system. More »

Beyoncé Kills It at the Super Bowl, Sends Haters to the Left

From the second she appeared silhouetted in black against a field of smoke and ghosts to the moment she cut power to the New Orleans Superdome just to prove to Michelle that she could, it was clear that Beyoncé viewed the Super Bowl as a Beyoncé concert where a few fans had gathered in the parking lot to play a quick game of touch football. Here are the highlights, from an all-highlight show. More »

Super Bowl MVP Joe Flacco Reacts to Winning the Big Game: ‘Fucking Awesome'

As you may have heard, the Baltimore Ravens survived tonight's Beyonce-caused power outage and won Super Bowl XLII. In addition to the half-hour blackout, there were crucial missed calls, inspiring viral marketing campaigns worthy of thorough investigation, and excellent sideline tantrums. But how did Joe Flacco, the game's MVP and the world's dullest person, react? More »

Super Bowl Goes Dark Minutes After Beyoncé's Performance

Well, that was one way to quiet the lip-synching haters/give credence to rumors of Illuminati: Minutes after Beyoncé's inspired performance and just moments after a record-setting kickoff return from the Baltimore Ravens' Jacoby Jones, power went out in over half of the Superdome. More »

Watch Shaq's Amazing Super Bowl Sing-Along to Beyoncé's "Halo"

Shaq is many things. He's a legendary basketball player with a growing business empire and a one-time great film career. He was also a rapper. But did you know he's a Beyoncé fan? Neither did we until Super Bowl Sunday, when he let the whole world know. More »

A Guide to Not Watching the Super Bowl

This Sunday, millions of Americans will watch two siblings square off, blood against blood, as they attempt to achieve the single most important goal of their lives. The Super Bowl is on too. Here's a guide to what else you can watch if you get bored with those two things. More »

Let's Play Beyoncé Halftime Bingo, or ‘Beyngo'

Looking to combine the passive pleasure of watching Football Presents: Beyoncé with the thrilling rush of gambling addiction? Print out these Beyoncé-themed bingo cards and become part of the action. More »

This Year's Super Bowl Will Be Gayer Than Last Year's

The suspense is burning. For the first time in the history of the Super Bowl, people who care nothing about football can experience the same level of investment over the outcome of the big day as sports fans. For my money, the halftime show will be the most exciting of the night's offerings: there is so much riding on Beyoncé's performance. More »

If a Real Raven Fought a Real 49er, Who Would Win?

This evening's Super Bowl, which pits the Baltimore Ravens against the San Francisco 49ers, raises an obvious question: if a real Corvus corax fought a real 19th-century California gold panner, who would win? We talked to experts and did some research to find out. More »

This Year's Illuminati-Super Bowl Connection is More Sinister Than Ever

How deep does the Super Bowl Illuminati rabbit hole go? As deep as all rabbit holes: straight into hell. More »