The Lisa Turtle meltdown of 2012 is still happening. Still.
Thirty-eight-year-old Saved by the Bell alum Lark Voorhies "stopped by" the Inside Edition studio to "set the record straight" on rumors that she is bipolar or suffering a crisis. The ensuing segment was titled "Saved by the Bell Mystery," which sounds ridiculous and melodramatic, but also true, because seriously, what the fuck is going on with Lark Voorhies?
"It has no relevance to me, so it does not relate to me whatsoever, and I don't carry on associated...association with it. At all," says Voorhies in response to an awkwardly phrased question about reports suggesting that she's "off-base."
This is the most recent of several times that Voorhies has spoken to the press with the intention of confirming that she is fine, and the effect being the exact opposite.
The saga started in May, when she appeared in a Yahoo! interview looking like her makeup gun had been set to "vomit." The story there was how unstable she looked, not acted.
Then in October, People ran a story in which Voorhies' mother claimed her daughter was bipolar. Voorhies participated in the piece and according to People, during the interview she "would frequently stop mid-sentence and stare off, often mumbling to herself or to others who weren't there." Voorhies then explained to the magazine, "I have a strong spiritual sense. You caught me in moments of pray [sic]."
(It was at this time that we also discovered her comma-laden bibliography as an e-book author.)
Later that month, TMZ caught up with her. She reflected on the People article by saying, "Well I think it quite comical... I'll put it to you like this, outside contract, everything is funny. Beautiful pictures though, don't you think?"
We aren't even caught up to the most recent chapter, because then in November, Voorhies went on Entertainment Tonight to refute everything. She was described during the report as "charming" and rambling.
"It is a small, uh, opinionata that is getting blown thoroughly out of proportion. I have no stating reasons why anyone should worry about me. I mean, clearly I am a very strong, top-of-the-line, always-rising-to-it personage. And um, I have no worries myself, nor do I exude, exhibit or posses within my living strata...stratus any reason why someone should worry in my behalf. It's just lies. It's completely fictional," she said.
And that brings us up to now, which finds Voorhies still on her beat. It's a fascinating, unpredictable performance but oh boy, does she need to stop with all this if she really wants us to think that nothing is wrong.