Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Last week, CBS emailed all the stars attending the Grammys and asked them to cover their breasts with fabric before they arrived.

The stars, offended that the Grammys had effectively threatened to back off their breasts with a scimitar of modesty, found 80085 ways to rebel.

You couldn't take two steps last night without suffocating under a pair of boobs. Nipples taking people's eyes out left and right. Forbidden puffy crotch skin puckering under the Staples Center airconditioning.

We present to you now those brave heroes who flouted the CBS dress code most flagrantly. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they didn't wear over their nipples there on that night.

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child; "Dilemma" by Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland

Stood Up For: "Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts"; "'puffy' bare skin" of "the genital region."

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Ashanti of Long Island; The Inc. Records (formerly Murder Inc.)

Stood Up For: "Thong type costumes"; "bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack"; "bare sides or under curvature of the breasts"; "'puffy' bare skin" of "the genital region"; just straight up wearing a g-string that everyone can see through your sheer dress.

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Rihanna of Barbados

Stood Up For: "Sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples."

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Jennifer Lopez of JLo

Stood Up For: Dresses slit to the thigh, which the Grammys hadn't thought to ban until they saw her.

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Katy Perry of John Mayer

Stood Up For: "Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts."

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: Alicia Keys, in the costume she wore onstage, before anyone knew it was happening.

Stood Up For:" Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts."

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere: Here Are the People Who Violated the Grammy Wardrobe Rules

Hero: A bunch of not-very-famous people who wanted to have their pictures taken.

Stood Up For: "Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts"; "'puffy' bare skin" of "the genital region"; the unknown fashion martyrs whose names we will never know/bother to learn.

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God Bless the Grammy Boob-Fashion Insurgents.

[Images via Getty]