Nestlé has issued a voluntary recall of some packages of LEAN CUISINE® Culinary Collection Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli and Glass Shards, after three customers reported finding shards of glass inside their slimy noodle pockets.
Nestlé confirmed that no injuries have been reported as a result of the tainted product, likely because the emotional damage that comes with spending the rest of your life trusting no ravioli manifests over several years.
The affected packages were produced in early November of 2012, and have almost all been sold to consumers. The recall is for boxes bearing the production codes 2311587812 and 2312587812, with "best before" dates of December 2013.
If you purchased one of the boxes believed to have been enriched with glass, Nestlé advices you not to eat it. Instead, you're asked to contact customer service in order to receive a coupon for more potentially glass-filled ravioli.
Option B is to go ahead and wolf those frozen Mushroom Mezzaluna raviolis down raw in the hopes that the immense physical pain you experience as the glass shreds your esophagus will remind you what it feels like to be alive.
According to the company website, LEAN CUISINE® Culinary Collection Mushroom Mezzaluna Ravioli consists of "ravioli filled with portobello & button mushrooms, romano & ricotta cheeses [and sometimes glass shards] in a creamy marsala wine."