Kate Upton Almost Died in Antarctica So That Millions of People Could Masturbate to Her

For the second year in a row, Kate Upton's boobs are the face of Sports Illustrated's annual swimsuit issue. This time, however, she almost died putting them there.

In honor of the magazine's 50th anniversary, Sports Illustrated decided to photograph its models conquering the world by posing in bikinis on all seven continents. Since she is the swimsuit model of the moment, Upton probably figured she'd get a plum gig like "Europe" or even "North America," so she could do it from home in her swimsuit PJs.

Instead the magazine sent her to Antarctica, a place that, as it turns out, looks a lot like a green screen backdrop of Antarctica. It was there that, as Upton cavorted in snowboots and nothing else, her body promptly broke down.

She recounted the horrors of her December photo shoot for Dark Prince of Morning Matt Lauer on Today:

"When I came back I was losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down, it was working so hard to keep warm."

TMZ reported that the temperature fell to 35 degrees below zero at the time of Sports Illustrated's visit. But while she could only pose in one minute bursts before she was forced to take a break to warm up, Upton walked away with the cover shot.

So when the editors come up with the Kate Upton Swimsuit Issue idea that inevitably leads to her premature death (Kate Upton Dancing on the Mouth of a Volcano…With Visible Nip; Kate Upton Repairs a Power-Line During an Electrical Storm…In Booty Shorts; Kate Upton in Deep Space…With No Bottoms), let her tombstone's epitaph reflect her sacrifice.

Katherine Upton
America's Saddest Martyr
Died for Sexy Pics

[Today // Image via Sports Illustrated]