Steve Martin Just Became a Dad at Age 67; Here's a Tentative Timeline of His Daughter's Life

Two-time Father of the Bride Steve Martin became a first-time father of a human being in early December when his wife, Anne Stringfield, 41, gave birth to a baby. His rep just got around to confirming the news to People today. Steve Martin is 67.

Here is a tentative timeline of milestones in Steve Martin's child's life, and the age Steve Martin will be when they are achieved.

(Note: Martin is notoriously private about his private life, and no information about the baby's sex has yet been made public. Since couples over 40 are less likely to have sons, we'll assume it is a girl and name her Stevita Martin.)

2012: Stevita Martin is born; Steve Martin is 67

2016: Stevita Martin starts pre-K, where her late birthday gives her a distinct academic advantage over her peers; Steve Martin is 71

2019: Stevita Martin has her first sleepover; feels lonely being in a strange house around bedtime; calls her Dad who promises to take her out for pancakes in the morning; toughs it out; Steve Martin is 74

2020: Stevita Martin begs to take ballet class; winter recital means she must postpone her birthday by one weekend (in the spring she switches to lacrosse); Steve Martin is 75
NOTE: Average life expectancy of an American male = 75.6 years

2024: Stevita Martin's last year on the kids menu (legally); Steve Martin is 79

2025: Steve Martin teaches Stevita to lie about her age if a waiter asks, so that she can still get chicken fingers; Steve Martin is 80

2028: Stevita Martin has her first kiss; gets her learner's permit; Steve Martin is 83

2030: Stevita Martin leaves home for Dartmouth; her Dad hires movers to help carry her stuff into the dorm; Steve Martin is 85

2033: Stevita Martin is legally old enough to drink in the United States; Steve Martin is 88

2037: Stevita Martin is old enough to rent a car without paying an additional fee; Steve Martin is 92

2040: Stevita Martin becomes engaged to a fellow PhD student at the Yale School of Architecture; Steve Martin is 95

2041: Stevita Martin is married; Steve Martin is 96

2044: Stevita Martin gives birth to her first child; Steve Martin is 99

2079: Stevita Martin gives birth to her third child, at age 67; Steve Martin is 134

I'm 23 and my dad is one year older than Steve Martin; growing up I always felt like he was pretty old. Good dad, though.

How old is your dad?

[Image via Getty]