After finding themselves without a date to their cousin's wedding in Saratoga — and after being told that bringing dates was "mandatory" in order to keep them from "harass[ing] all of [the bride's] friends all night" — two brothers who self-identify as "born and bred Craigslisters" did what came natural to them: They took to the "activity partners" section of Craiglist to solicit wedding companions.
"We threw [the post] together in 5 minutes," Dave and Mike told New York magazine's Daily Intelligencer. "Just had to dig through to archives to find that pic of us when we were centaurs. Man, those were the days."
Describing themselves in the post as "in our 20s, single, dashingly tall, Anglo-Saxon," and, of course, centaurs, the bros confess to having seen Love Actually "several times," but maintain that they are "still bad boys."
As for what they're looking for in a temporary mate, the centaur siblings aren't particularly picky: "Sisters (twins?!) are preferable, but we'll take friends, or even enemies."
You should be attractive or our aunts will judge you, but not TOO attractive or one of our uncles might grope you. You should be relaxed and easy going as we'll probably make up flattering lies about you on the spot. You should own a dress, or be able to acquire one because we don't have any. If (when) you respond you should send some pictures of yourself so we know you've met the above requirements. Feel free to include a resume; this is a classy wedding and we're looking for well-rounded women. Interesting/unique pairings are encouraged; don't be afraid to make yourself stand out!
Okay, so maybe they are a little demanding. But can you blame them? I mean, with all the things they say the women have in store for them:
An excuse to get dressed up, Open bar & food all night, Eccentric/downright dangerous bro-2-bro dance moves (may need to sign a waiver)...Royalties once our night's story is developed into a romantic comedy.
But, wait. How do potential one-night jockeys know these guys aren't Craigslist killers? Easy: The post clearly states that they aren't.