Goldschläger incarnate Lindsay Lohan has allegedly learned the hard way that, like dolls' hair and a child's limbs, expensive beaded frippery doesn't just grow back once you cut it off. She reportedly returned a borrowed floor length designer gown in "tatters," its bottom half roughly hacked off with scissors.
A couple weeks ago, Lohan borrowed a beaded gown from celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch to wear to the amfAR (American foundation for AIDS Research) gala. At the time, Bloch had only kind things to say about the experience, calling Lindsay "effervescent, charming, funny, gracious, and extremely polite."
But that was before Lohan returned the dress. Or, more correctly, half the dress, because the other half is lying stuffed in the corner of a DJ booth somewhere, mopping up spilled tequila. (Us has a photo of the chop job.)
A source reportedly told the magazine that Lindsay said she ripped the dress at a club following the fundraiser, then enlisted the help of a stylist friend to cut off the damaged portion with scissors borrowed from the club's bouncer, Edward Scissorbouncer. An intentional alteration to hide an unintentional one. Like how if you spilled red nail polish on your bedroom comforter, you might just burn down your bedroom to hide the mishap.
If you are a LiLoyalist fond of conspiracy theories, you might entertain the possibility that a member of Bloch's team hacked at the dress after Lindsay returned it, in order to keep generating press about The Time Lindsay Wore A Pretty But Also Pretty Normal Dress Provided to Her By Celebrity Stylist Phillip Bloch.
If you have ever encountered or been punched by Lindsay Lohan in a club, though, you are probably like:
"Oh, yeah, she ripped it. For sure."
[Us Weekly // Image via AP]