When Justin Bieber stepped out in London yesterday wearing an ensemble as inexplicable as the entire six-year run of Lost, it was only a matter of time before Damon Lindelof chimed in with his two backgammon pieces.
"For all those following me, please be aware that I will be obsessively tweeting about Bieber's hat for the next NINE HOURS," Lindelof tweeted last night.
And, for once, he wasn't making shit up: Over the course of the next several hours, Lindelof spewed forth a teenybopper's treasury of one-liners ripping on Bieber's swag:
The dude from The Black Keys is buying a larger, spikier hat right now.
That hat looks like Pac Man wandered into the gay bar from Police Academy.
"That hat is fucking ridiculous." — Johnny Depp, to Bieber, whilst wearing a dead peacock on his head.
Bieber's Hat died for your sins.
But seriously. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT HAT?!?!
When it suddenly seemed like Lindelof's hat rant had reached its conclusion, the guy they put in charge of writing the next Star Trek movie quickly assured his 233k followers, "I'm not done tweeting about Bieber's hat. Just resting."
In fact, over the course of Lindelof's multi-hour hat tirade, only one thing stopped Lindelof dead in his tracks: