Doctors Can Now Keep Livers Alive Longer

Great news for people who abuse their livers (on this day of widespread liver abuse) — doctors in Britain have perfected a device that will keep livers alive longer, drastically increasing the availability of viable transplants. The team presented the device on Friday, announcing that "it could be common practice in hospitals across the developed world within a few years, up to doubling the number of livers available for transplant."

Right now, up to a quarter of the 30,000 patients on the liver transplant waiting list will die before they get a transplant. Almost 2,000 livers are discarded before they can ever be transplanted because they are damaged in the process.

Constantin Coussios, a professor of biomedical engineering at Oxford University who helped invent the machine, remarked on the results of the first two transplants with the new machine:

"It was astounding to see an initially cold, grey liver flushing with color once hooked up to our machine and performing as it would within the body... What was even more amazing was to see the same liver transplanted into a patient who is now walking around."

The device could be used across the world as early as 2014.

So what does this mean for you, St. Paddy's Day revelers? Drink, drink drink!

What does this mean for you, college kids on spring break? Drink, drink so much. Toma mucho!

What does this mean for you, drivers? Don't drink! (Just park that car, ok? Then you can drink, drink so much).