Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'S

At age 26, Lindsay Lohan has been taken into police custody a grand total of six times. Assuming this pattern holds for the rest of her life (and that she lives as long as the average American woman), she will have been admitted to jail roughly 19 times by the time she dies at age 81 (in jail).

Her newest mug shot was released yesterday, when she was booked into custody for a 90-day rehab sentence.

As you can see, girlfriend looks pretty great. More like a cheerleader who was caught drinking under the bleachers than America's number one threat to vehicular safety.

How does it stack up against her others?

September 2010: A Model Prisoner

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Violating probation after a drug test detected cocaine in her system.
Rating: Damn, girl!
Analysis: This is the gold standard of Lindsay Lohan mug shots. With three booking photos already under belt, she was, at age 24, a seasoned mug shot pro. And yet the experience had not yet lost its novelty. In 2010, she was still getting a little dolled up for her mugshots; why don't people dress up to go to the opera nowadays? Most importantly, by this time, she'd learned what does work (keeping your face level; looking up at the camera through your eyelashes) and what doesn't (open-mouthed gapes). She looks great.

March 2013: I'm Sexy and I Know It'm Over It

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Misdemeanor reckless driving and providing false information to police
Rating: Me-ow!
Analysis Once again, Lindsay's light-red hair tint prevents her face from becoming washed out under the harsh prison lights. She's going for glamour with a soft cat-eye and contoured blush. The doe eyes of her September 2010 mugshot have been replaced with a bored look of contempt. She mad. She sexy. She's working it.

July 2010: Jailhouse Barbie

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Violating probation by failing to attend court-ordered weekly alcohol education classes and submit to random drug tests
Rating: ...Alright. Sure!
Analysis: Maybe it's just the low-quality digital photo, but Lindsay's skin appears to be positively glowing in this shot. We've got a slight chiaroscuro affect framing the bottom half of her face, almost as if she's wearing earrings made out of shadows. Her hair is a little lifeless, but relatively sleek. She could be a hostess at a three dollar-signs out of four ($$$/$$$$) restaurant. Weekday shift.

November 2007: A Clink Clunker

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Misdemeanor cocaine use and driving under the influence
Rating: Yeesh.
Analysis: Lindsay Lohan's hair has got quite a bit of body in this mug shot, which is the one nice point you can make about it. Her lips are pursed like she's about to say something, but not in an alluring "I've got a secret" Mona Lisa way. More a "Is this where I'm supposed to loo—" *SNAP* way. She definitely looks old for 24, which is hyper-bad considering she was 21 when this was taken.

October 2011: The Swedish Ghost

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Failing to perform community service (Probation revoked)
Rating: Oh, no.
Analysis: In this booking photo, Lindsay Lohan appears wide-eyed and fearful; a true prison "n00b." This is surprising, considering she already had four mugshots under her belt by the time this was taken. The lack of bronzer should work in her favor, but paired with Malfoy-white hair, the overall affect is a little ghastly.

July 2007: A Haggard Hazard

Lindsay Lohan's Mug Shots, Ranked from 'Ooh, Child...' to 'Damn, Girl!'

Booked for: Suspicion of driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine
Rating: Ooh, child...
Analysis: Understandably, Lohan's first mugshot, taken at age 20, was also her weakest effort. When this picture was taken, she probably still believed that getting arrested was kind of a big deal. (A glance at her newest mugshot confirms she's since revised her position on that.) Her eyes are bloodshot. She looks dazed and bewildered. Her mouth positioning is the worst it's been to date. Luckily she's since had plenty of opportunities to improve her technique.

[Art by Jim Cooke]