The city of Saratoga Springs, New York has a problem: homelessness. I mean, the problem is not that Saratoga Springs residents are forced to sleep on the streets—the problem is these homeless citizens are sleeping in City Hall. How are the city fathers supposed to conduct their important business of helping out Saratoga Springs citizens when those citizens are being all, like, dirty in their space?

City Hall—which is housed in the same building as the Police Department—stays open late sometimes, for public meetings and whatnot. And every once in a while, people who don't even have the common decency to pay a mortgage wander in and pass out somewhere. Allowing the public to just waltz right in any old time clearly cannot be tolerated in a building designated to doing the public's business.

"We even have people who come to our counter in Public Safety who are irate and agitated," [Public Safety Commissioner Christian] Mathiesen said, adding the building should have a centralized check-in location for visitors. He said motion detectors are something they could consider, but long term, a comprehensive review of the building's security would be needed.

[Public Works Commissioner Anthony] Scirocco said the layout of the building with three entrances would make that difficult. "We'll probably have to hire a consultant," he said.

REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS: Consultant needed to devise plan to A) Keep public away from "Public Safety" counter, and B) Completely seal off city hall from infiltration by the public.

If only they had some of them dang Homeland Security funds.

[The Saratogian. Photo: Doug Kerr/ Flickr]