Yesterday it was reported that Justin Bieber was being investigated for battery after a neighbor claimed Bieber made physical contact with him during an argument that took place on the singer's property. (The neighbor's wife told KTLA that her husband went to Justin Bieber's home to complain because the 19-year-old had been racing his new Ferrari around their residential block early Tuesday morning.)
But what exactly was the physical contact Justin Bieber allegedly made? Did he full on attack his neighbor with the strength of a hundred rabid joeys? Did he walk up to his neighbor and slap him across the face with a silk glove? Did he spit on him?
Oh, yeah—maybe he spit on him.
Yesterday, Gawker received an email from a man identifying himself as an acquaintance of Bieber's neighbor. Here's his take on how the dust-up allegedly occurred:
".…I happen to be very close with the man Justin allegedly 'beat up.' after I saw the story on gawker I immediately called him and asked what went down. Turns out, justin just got a new ferrari in the mail and was driving it around his neighborhood early in the morning so my friend went over and asked to quiet things down. Some harsh words were exchanged and justin then proceeded to spit on him. no punches were thrown, Justin just spit on him and went inside. Thats when [my friend] called the police."
It goes without saying that these accusations are, as yet, unconfirmed. But, damn, doesn't angry spitting really seem to suit the bratty persona that Justin "The Junk Food Kid" Bieber has cultivated for himself on the playground that is the world?
Can't you close your eyes and hear his shrieks cutting through the early morning California air while a hulking security guard makes a show of "struggling" to restrain him?
You're lucky he's holding me back! You don't know where I come from!
Can't you imagine him running upstairs and kicking a pyramid of meticulously stacked stuffed animals, an explosion of velvety green frogs and plush purple rabbits flying out in all directions? Can't you see him flopping belly first onto a bean bag chair as hot, angry tears stream down his cheeks? He's mad because Mr. Schroeder yelled at him. He's mad because he spent so much time building The Amazing Animal Pyramid and now no one but him even cares that it's gone. He's mad because he tries so hard to be good all the time but sometimes he just wants to be mad.
He's so mad he falls asleep and while he's asleep someone else rebuilds the animal pyramid, so maybe it's not all bad.
On Tuesday, a spokesman for the L.A. County sheriff's department acknowledged that a spit-attack was, at least, within the realm of possibility:
"Right now it's a misdemeanor simple battery, which is unwanted touching. It could be anything from grazing an elbow, patting on the back… It could be spitting."
The alleged battery victim's wife told KTLA that her multimillionaire teen superstar neighbor is "just being a punk."