So-called "after dentist" videos are a dime a dozen. Which is why you can trust that this one's a good'un.
A drugged-out Kansas girl fresh from her wisdom teeth removal surgery was filmed by her boyfriend lamenting the loss of her beloved third molars.
"I did it against my own will, I would have kept you," Abbie Kritz wails, with tears streaming down her face. "I loved you from the first moment on."
Brushing aside her mother's attempts to explain the necessity of wisdom teeth extraction, Abbie slurs out a magnificent catchphrase: "They were just trying to help me chew and I didn't accept them."
And later: "They just wanted to be a part of my body and I said 'No, get out'."
On Twitter, a sober Abbie says she recalls very little from that car ride home. "i just remember wanting to stop crying the whole time but i couldn't," she tweeted.