Old People Want Fun Activities as They Wait to Die Now

Used, to be, when people got old, put em in a depressing nightmarish concrete block hospital warehouse. Pretty soon they'd die. Well, things—as things will do—are changing. These days, modern senior citizens want the option of doing stuff, before they die.

Says here in popular old person newspaper "The Wall Street Journal" that today's retiring old people, their pockets fat with a lifetime of money plundered from their grandchildren's future, don't want the same old traditional "retirement community" environment, with its daily servings of butterscotch pudding and sadness. Today's olds are paying huge sums of money for luxury retirement communities, with gyms and clubhouses and gourmet chefs and "an activity list that would exhaust even a teenager." (Fuckin.) It's just how people with no taste always envisioned their golden years.

The Vi at Silverstone in Arizona is a CCRC, where Arch Rambeau and his wife Laree, both 77, paid a $650,000 move-in fee late last year to "buy into" the community. They paid a lower fee with the understanding that a portion would not be refunded to their heirs. The Rambeaus also pay a monthly fee of more than $6,000. "We no longer have any maintenance responsibility. If a light burns out, they come and replace the light," said Mr. Rambeau, a former General Dynamics senior vice president who lives in a private villa with a two-car garage. "It's like we decided to go live at the Hyatt in Orlando, Fla., or some place and decided to just live there the rest of our lives."

Checking into the Hyatt in Orlando, Florida, and never leaving, until you're found one day slumped in your spacious two-car garage, Oldsmobile engine running, gourmet creme brulee butterscotch pudding dripping from your lips, light bulbs burning brightly overhead. A dream come true.

[WSJ. Pic via.]