No One Can Stop Earth's Insatiable Hunger for Meat and Tissues Now

The human race: We're reportedly eating more meat than ever, thanks to exploding populations in Brazil and China. You know what else we're nomming on these days? Kleenex, bitches! The recently ousted editor of Vogue Australia has penned a memoir that's intended as a fashion-industry tell-all, but sounds like it's chock full of pointers for aspiring eating-disorder-sufferers. She recently shared her top horror-story-that-sounds-ominously-like-a-dieting-tip with Entertainment Tonight:

I do remember one season that the girls were required to be very thin, and I was having dinner with a New York agent who said to me that a few of the girls had resorted to eating tissues. I'd never heard of such a thing, and I said, "What does that do?" and apparently they swelled in your stomach and made you feel full.

Perhaps this tissue-paper proliferation explains why, for the first time ever, consumption of dead animal bits has actually decreased in America for four straight years. (It probably also explains Big Meat's big new rebranding efforts.) Ssh, don't tell the developing world: Leave them to their premature-death burgers. They will bow down to our fierce skeletal profiles as we rock the Georgia-Pacific diet!

[Photo via Poznyakov/Shutterstock]