Your baby boy loves to cry. Loves it.
You could find a way to patiently and lovingly console him and coddle him until the latest tantrum passes, but that's no fun.
Here's a much better idea: Start a blog with the sole purpose of photographing him every time he cries, and caption each photo with the asinine reason he's crying this time.
That's what one particularly dog-tired dad did when he launched "Reasons My Son Is Crying."
There is, of course, some debate over the impact this might have on the child, but those comments are likely being left by people who are either not parents themselves, or else lack the sense of humor necessary to survive those first few years of parenthood.
Besides, in a few short years, they'll be on Tumblr themselves, writing their own whiny blog.
I wouldn't let him drown in this pond.
I turned the volume of The Hokey Pokey down… from "ear-splittingly loud" to only "mind-numbingly loud".
He is in a giraffe costume.