Jay-Z, 'Rap's Bob Dylan,' Enrages Conservative CriticsS

In an effort to further flesh out his mysterious list of 99 problems, Jay-Z has released a track called "Open Letter" that addresses a couple of his more recent predicaments.

The song is basically Jay's rebuttal to people who questioned the legality of his trip to Cuba with Beyonce, as well as his sale of his minority stake in the Brooklyn Nets. Senator Marco Rubio and two members of the House publicly objected to the rapper's recent jaunt to Cuba, which was since revealed to be totally fine by the Treasury Department. Of the criticism of his Brooklyn Nets sale, a necessity for Jay-Z to enter into his new sports management business, Jay raps: "I woulda moved the Nets to Brooklyn for free/ Except I made millions off you fucking dweebs."

Jay-Z also uses "Open Letter" to give a shoutout directly to President Obama, suggesting that he and the POTUS are tight: "Obama says, 'Chill, you gonna get me impeached'/ You don't need this shit anyway, chill with me on the beach."

This sign of intimacy has some mucky-mucks in the GOP apoplectic over the implications. The Drudge Report is blasting the line on its front page, while Reince Priebus, chairman of the RNC, and Ari Fleischer, former White House press secretary under George W. Bush, both took time out of their days to tweet about what Jay-Z's song lyrics mean for America:

Enough of GOP clowning about, because Jay-Z's song revealed potential for a delightful new game. In the song, Jay-Z professes that he is the "Bob Dylan of rap music"β€”an unexpected and NPRish way to describe himself. (Also, previously Jay-Z compared Biggie to both Bob Dylan and Alfred Hitchcock; he has clearly changed his mind. Biggie gets just Hitchcock now.) He precedes this declaration by citing the Dylan ballad, "Idiot Wind." The two songs are similar in theme, tone, and general "don't overexcite yourself with jealousy" attitudes. So now you can play:

Jay-Z or Bob Dylan?

  • A)You're an idiot, baby, you should become a student
  • B)You yesterday you had to ask me where it was at
  • C) Someone got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press
  • D) People see me all the time and they just can't remember how to act
  • E) Politicians never did shit for me, except lie to us and distort history.
  • F) Almost want to start a revolution
  • G) Out of spite, I just might flood these streets
  • H) What's good is bad what's bad is good you'll find out when you reach the top / You're on the bottom

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KEY: A) JZ | B) BD | C) BD | D) DB | E) JZ | F) JZ | G) JZ | H) BD

[Rolling Stone, image via Getty]