Reform-Minded Pope Francis Vows He'll Crack Down... on Feminist Nuns

Oh, dreamy South American Pope Francis, restoring hope in a vibrant, evolving Catholic Church. He's just the pontiff we need to root out the perverted scourge that for so long has besmirched the clergy's ranks: ladies with opinions on things.

The Vatican announced today that Francis is throwing his support behind the Church's antagonism of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, an umbrella organization for American nuns. The Holy See has been after these American ladies of the cloth and their lay disciples for half a decade, because they believe in making "public statements as a way of using the corporate voice of women religious leaders to advocate against poverty, racism, powerlessness or any other form of violence or oppression."

According to Vatican leaders, that's just fancy girl talk to conceal "a prevalence of certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith" and disagreements with the Church on just how much brow-furrowing disapproval of women and gays is demanded by the Gospels.

For its part, the nuns' group reported that it had an "open and frank" discussion with the pope's emissaries about his attitude. "We pray that these conversations may bear fruit for the good of the Church," the group added. Given the Church's stand on priestly celibacy, that's probably unlikely.

[Image via AP]