An 800-pound alligator minding his own business at a Texas shopping center was accosted, lassoed, and paraded around in bawdy finery like a common tramp in Houston this week.
The 50-year-old alligator, nicknamed “Godzilla,” is blind in one eye and, at his age, probably just wants to relax in the nearby creek from where he wandered. But when employees at the shopping center saw him when they arrived at work, they called the police.
Christy Kroboth, whose job title is actually “licensed nuisance alligator trapper”(Texas, am I right) sprang into action when she heard about the animal. Despite her official title, Kroboth used what appear to be pink headscarves to tie the alligator’s mouth shut. Maybe they couldn’t find any rope or figured that satin was just better suited for the situation.
Godzilla was scooped up by a forklift and tossed into a pickup truck in a most indecorous way. He was sent to a local alligator farms to live out the rest of his his undignified life.