1. Keep an open mind! You never know where a rare Pokémon might be hiding. Don’t be afraid to explore new areas of your town—adventure is what it’s all about!
2. Charge your phone. There’s nothing worse than getting ready to snag a rare critter only to have to have your screen go dark.
3. Buy several additional phones. This way, when one phone dies, just throw it away and turn on another. Dead weight only slows you down.
4. See if you can get a neighborhood kid to play with you. He’ll no doubt have some sick tips, and his mom’s been pretty busy since Mitch started coming around.
5. Don’t forget—kids need snacks! But he’s allergic to tree nuts, and try to stay away from refined sugar.
6. Don’t bring up how the world of Pokémon is actually pretty grim if you really think about it. Buncha kids keeping wild animals in golf balls and forcing them to kill each other for sport. It’s not right.
7. You know. You’d think that at least one Pokémon has to have died while inside their ball at some point.
8. Just imagine it. Ball opens. Squirtle rolls out. Your opponent averts his gaze and pretends to clear his throat as you frantically try to push Squirtle back into its deathbed but you accidentally put him into Pikachu’s ball and now Pikachu is never going to be the same.
9. Where do they bury the Pokémon remains?