Chris Kattan at the Phoenix Airport: A Poignant Picture of Celeb Sadness

*Presses play on Haddaway* Hey, do you guys remember Chris Kattan? He was in a movie with Will Ferrell about dancing that was released when dinosaurs roamed the earth. In any event, Chris Kattan is still around, and it turns out he had a Sunday that was an acutely exquisite portrait of the sad life of a C-list… » 5/05/15 5:35pm 4 minutes ago

Targeted Killing Is Just Good Business

Red Gate Group. The name is somewhat ominous. But don’t get too excited. It isn’t Blackwater and it’s only a $10 million a year operation. There’s no scandal; no hidden political contribution; no device that doesn’t work; there’s nothing unique at all. In fact it’s merely one of literally hundreds of companies just… » 5/05/15 5:21pm 18 minutes ago

Manny Pacquiao Sued by Disgruntled Fans for Hiding Shoulder Injury

A couple of boxing fans have sued Manny Pacquiao for allegedly failing to disclose a torn rotator cuff before last weekend’s “fight of the century” against Floyd Mayweather. Pacquiao’s team says he reported the injury to the Nevada State Athletic Commission, but a form he filled out prior to the fight indicates no… » 5/05/15 5:20pm 19 minutes ago

Ban Men from Literary Readings


There we are, sitting in the middle of a crowd of people in the back of a bookshop. Could be BookCourt, McNally, powerHouse, Housing Works: you know, the good ones. Maybe we’re even at a university. The author has spoken. The moderator has asked his own special questions. Silence has fallen. Now, the gazes of the… » 5/05/15 3:50pm Today 3:50pm

That Time Mike Huckabee's Loser Son Allegedly Tortured a Dog to Death

Welcome to Loser Sons of Politics, a new column where the politically minded among the Jezebel staff recall with fondness the antics of the loser sons of politicians. Today (because it’s a very big and special day for the former Arkansas Governor), we’re recalling that time Mike Huckabee’s loser son David killed a dog… » 5/05/15 3:30pm Today 3:30pm

Beachfuckers Could Get 15 Years for Fucking on Beach

The Florida couple who last year had sex on a beach, went to sleep, and then had sex again, all while a grandmother filmed them, have been convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior, and each face up to 15 years in prison, the Miami Herald reports. » 5/05/15 3:30pm Today 3:30pm

De Blasio Proposes Spending $54 Million More on Mental Health Services

Will we ever hear the end of the de Blasio administration’s shtick? First, the mayor wants to give a metric ton of cash to public schools that are struggling. Now he’s signed off an a proposal spearheaded by his wife, Chirlane McCray, to put an additional $54 million toward mental health services in NYC. » 5/05/15 3:19pm Today 3:19pm

500 Days of Kristin, Day 100: The First Hundred Days

One hundred sunsets into her memoir-writing journey, Kristin Cavallari has begun to steer the country away from fugly flats and into heels. Though her legislative gains have been meager—some might say non-existent—Kristin has attacked her overarching goal of putting her life’s work on the record with enthusiasm. » 5/05/15 2:59pm Today 2:59pm

Idiot Historians Bring Back Cursed Doll

If you hate both sleep and maintaining a general sense of well-being, then boy, do these historians have just the thing for you: Brand new, remastered recordings of long-dead children chanting nursery rhymes. Because when the eternally trapped spirit of a little girl shrieks at you from beyond the grave—you want to be… » 5/05/15 2:45pm Today 2:45pm

Four Seasons Resort Denies David Goldberg Death Scenario

Late yesterday, the New York Times reported that David Goldberg, SurveyMonkey CEO and late husband of Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, had been killed after he slipped on a Four Seasons treadmill in Mexico. That’s a strange way to go—but even stranger is that the resort is now denying it. » 5/05/15 2:32pm Today 2:32pm

Sex Workers: A&E's 8 Minutes Promised Us Help But Gave Us Nothing

Four sex workers who were filmed as part of the A&E reality series 8 Minutes—where former cop and current pastor Kevin Brown “hires” sex workers and then attempts to convince them to leave the business, with the promise of assistance, financial and otherwise—claimed the show was nothing more than false promises. » 5/05/15 2:28pm Today 2:28pm

Frank Bruni, Owner of New $1.5 Million Apartment, Is a Goddamn Sucker

According to the real estate blog 6sqft, Frank Bruni, perhaps the worst of the New York Times’ bad columnists, recently purchased an apartment on West 74th Street in Manhattan for $1.5 million, which is a lot of money. The blog notes that Bruni has acquired “the perfect canvas to create his dream home,” which is a lie… » 5/05/15 1:40pm Today 1:40pm

D.A.R.E. Suckered by Fake Story About Deadly Weed Gummies

D.A.R.E., the ineffective anti-drug program you barely remember from elementary school, is still around, and still warning kids of the dangers of taking any drug in any amount ever. Especially a new and deadly marijuana gummy that was completely made up by a fake news site whose story D.A.R.E. republished in its… » 5/05/15 1:38pm Today 1:38pm