No, Ben Affleck Is Not Dating the Nanny, According to Ben Affleck

Earlier today, Bobby Finger—Jezebel writer, rumormonger, and my enemy—reported that Ben Affleck has been dating his children’s nanny, Christine Ouzounian, since his separation from Jennifer Garner. Well, BOBBY, Ben Affleck has responded to these allegations and wants you to know that YOU’RE A LIAR. » 7/29/15 9:45pm 51 minutes ago

Matthew Sanchez, the 911 operator who allegedly hung up on a woman aiding a dying teen after telling her, “You can deal with it yourself,” has resigned, NBC News reports. “Sanchez tendered his resignation of employment from the Albuquerque Fire Department effective immediately,” said a department spokesperson.
» 7/29/15 8:15pm Today 8:15pm

Video of Sam DuBose's Death Drastically Different From the Police Report

University of Cincinnati police officer Ray Tensing was charged Wednesday with the murder of Sam DuBose, 43, an unarmed black driver he had pulled over for an alleged missing license plate. At the indictment announcement, prosecutors also released video from Tensing’s body camera that directly contradicts the police… » 7/29/15 5:04pm Today 5:04pm

Story Argues Against Flying With Support Animals; I Remain Unconvinced

Take one look at the gif above and tell me that seeing a turtle scuttling around wouldn’t improve the experience of being cattle-herded through one of the circles of hell that is a U.S. airport. The answer should be clear to you (it is, “Yes, that would improve my travel experience greatly”), but just in case you’re… » 7/29/15 4:20pm Today 4:20pm

A Parched Millionaire Broke Into Obama's Favorite Bistro to Steal Vodka

What’s a thirsty millionaire to do when he’s fiending for a Campari and there’s nary a bar in sight? Ignoring the fact that this happened in Georgetown, a college town literally lined with bars, the answer for one PR exec was apparently clear: break into a fancy restaurant and steal $100 worth of shitty booze. » 7/29/15 4:10pm Today 4:10pm

Debris Found in Indian Ocean Might Belong to Missing Flight MH370

Sixteen months after Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared, debris from the aircraft may have been found near an island in the western Indian Ocean. CNN is, of course, all over the story and reports that French authorities believe the apparent wreckage might be a wing flap from the doomed plane.
» 7/29/15 3:51pm Today 3:51pm

500 Days of Kristin, Day 185: Did Kristin Make Less Money Than Audrina?

On September 29, 2009, The Daily Beast released a blockbuster report that shook our nation to its core. With its publication, previously guarded information became public to American citizens for the first time: the (inflated) salaries of the women and men then starring on MTV’s reality TV dramedy The Hills. » 7/29/15 3:13pm Today 3:13pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kylie and Tyga Are Literally Allegedly Married

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we think about Reese Witherspoon’s husband for the first time in two years, rewatch the dashcam footage of her arrest, and keep repeating “I am a U.S. citizen” in her voice while thinking, “You know what? I sort of wish she had won the Oscar for Wild.” This week: Julia Roberts and… » 7/29/15 1:57pm Today 1:57pm

U. of Cincinnati Cop Indicted in Traffic Stop Killing, Video Released

University of Cincinnati police officer Ray Tensing has been charged with murder in the killing of Sam DuBose, a black man, during a traffic stop two weeks ago. Prosecutors today announced the indictment and released video from Tensing’s body camera that shows him shooting DuBose in the head.
» 7/29/15 1:35pm Today 1:35pm

Afghan Intelligence: Taliban Leader Mullah Omar Died Two Years Ago

According to Afghanistan’s main intelligence agency, Mullah Mohammad Omar, the Talibans’ spiritual leader turned “secretive head” and lead insurgent after the September 11 attacks, died over two years ago. And as of right now, it’s unclear exactly why it’s taken so long to report the death of the former Bin Laden… » 7/29/15 12:53pm Today 12:53pm

Vacation Is an Impressive Trifecta of Mean, Dumb, and Ugly

You can be mean, or you can be dumb, but only one of the two. Really, you can technically be whatever you want, but if you are both mean and dumb, you’re going to have an extremely hard time making it in a world where success often depends greatly on the ability to connect with other people. Immense beauty can render… » 7/29/15 12:26pm Today 12:26pm

New Jail Footage Shows Sandra Bland Was Alive During Booking

Officials in Waller County, Texas, have released new jail footage showing that Sandra Bland, the woman who was arrested during a traffic stop and died in jail under suspicious circumstances, was alive during the booking process. The county also produced “several hours” of footage of Bland in jail, showing her sleeping… » 7/29/15 12:13pm Today 12:13pm

Reports on Sandra Bland's Posthumous THC Levels Riddled With Bad Science

There is something very off about a recent story circulated by the Associated Press on Sandra Bland’s toxicology report, which was released on Monday. It was mostly republished by right-of-center publications like the New York Post and Fox News, with little interest from the mainstream media—presumably because the… » 7/29/15 11:51am Today 11:51am