Bowe Bergdahl Could Return to Active Duty Today

Defense officials said late Sunday that former Taliban POW Bowe Berdahl will return to active duty as early as today. According to a report from The New York Times, Berdahl will live in the barracks and take a job at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, where he's been in therapy the past few weeks. » 7/14/14 10:13am 21 minutes ago

John Oliver Reads "Smutty Fuck Notes" About Warren G. Harding's Penis

If all you know about President Warren G. Harding is how quickly he died after taking office, prepare for some presidential trivia you'll never be able to unhear. Harding's love letters—or, as John Oliver puts it, "smutty fuck notes"—to his neighbor's wife are a treasure trove of pillowing breasts, fevered fondling,… » 7/14/14 9:40am 54 minutes ago

Obama Fist Bumps Texas BBQ Cashier in Response to Gay Sex Joke

At yet another public appearance on his tour of Colorado and Texas, President Obama fist bumped a BBQ cashier in response to the cashier's quip about gay rights. "It was just a lucky day to be the register girl," cashier Rugg Webb told The Austin Chronicle later. » 7/14/14 9:32am Today 9:32am

World's Most Brutal Tweenage Metal Band Gets $1.8 Million Record Deal

Every once in a while, the internet gets it shit together and actually does something worthwhile for the world. This week presents one such an occasion, with the news that the brutal pre-teen metal band Unlocking the Truth landed a $1.8 million record deal from Sony. » 7/14/14 8:26am Today 8:26am

Shipwrecked Costa Concordia Refloated Off Italian Coast

The cruise ship Costa Concordia, which wrecked in 2012 killing 32 people, is floating again off the coast of Italy's Giglio Island. Thanks to a salvage operation that's cost more than 1 billion euro so far, the ship is now floating three feet above the undersea platform it had been resting on for the past year. » 7/14/14 8:10am Today 8:10am

Pot Farmer Named Smoke Accused of Starting California Wildfire

Twenty-seven-year-old Freddie Alexander Smoke III (really!) is accused of having started the wildfire that has burned nearly six miles of land in Northern California. According to the California Department of Fire and Forestry Protection, exhaust from the truck Smoke was driving around an illegal marijuana farm… » 7/13/14 9:53pm Yesterday 9:53pm

Nine-Year-Old Dies from Rare Brain-Eating Amoeba

Hally Yust, nine, of Spring Hill, Kan., died after contracting an infection—called primary amoebic meningoencephalitis—that develops from the rare "brain-eating" Naegleria fowleri amoeba found in warm freshwater lakes and rivers. According to the Center for Disease Control, there have been fewer than 200 reported… » 7/13/14 9:01pm Yesterday 9:01pm

People Who Complain About Tornado Coverage Deserve to Miss Their Shows

Deadspin covered the fallout from a television station in New York breaking into the last few minutes of the final game of the World Cup for a tornado warning in the station's viewing area. When it comes to severe weather, news stations put viewer safety over programming every time, and people who complain about it… » 7/13/14 8:00pm Yesterday 8:00pm

Reputed Difficult Person Katherine Heigl Doesn't Think She's Difficult

A brave human went ahead and asked famed on-set drama queen Katherine Heigl—who was hobnobbing to promote her new NBC show, State of Affairs, as part of the Television Critics Association's summer press tour—whether she considered herself (and her mother-manager) difficult to work with. She doesn't. » 7/13/14 7:29pm Yesterday 7:29pm

This Polar Bear Is Really Hot and Really Depressed

A polar bear named Arturo, who lives in a hot enclosure at Mendoza Zoo in Argentina, has not been having a great two years. After his best friend Pelusa died in 2012, Arturo has responded by exhibiting strange behavior, such as rocking side to side, baring his teeth, and collapsing into a pile with no will to get up.… » 7/13/14 3:45pm Yesterday 3:45pm