Local Police Give Patrol Cars To Civillians, Immediately Regret It

The Valley Falls, Kansas police department is rethinking its decision to allow civilian volunteers to use police cruisers after the program almost immediately fell into hilarious misuse.

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And Now Here's a Lion Getting Its Teeth Cleaned by a Dachshund

This video of a dachshund dentist and its big kitty client comes with absolutely no context, but one thing is abundantly clear: This is by far the cutest cleaning symbiosis in the Animal Kingdom (suck it, hippos and oxpeckers).

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Here Is Celine Dion Dancing to Daft Punk's "Get Lucky"

Don't get too excited — this is a mash-up of footage from a concert in which Celine Dion did her best Limber Louie impression to a cover of the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive," with the audio swapped out for "Get Lucky." But the synching is flawless. And those moves!

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Broke-Ass Detroit Could Sell Off Its Art Museum's Collection

Detroit, America's most spectacular postindustrial disaster zone, is broke. Severely broke. Negative-11-digit debt broke. So broke it can't even afford to run its courts. Detroit needs some cash. If only it had some valuable stuff to sell....

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Mariah Carey Said "Shit" on GMA, and Her Dress Broke

Exhaustion works like heavy drugs on Mariah Carey, which is to say hashtag-beautifully, as anyone witness to her Glitter-era breakdown or Home Shopping Network rambling knows. She performed today in Central Park for Good Morning America's concert series, and the gig forced her to wake up early. "I wake up at this hour," …

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Pizza Delivery Guy Busted Eating Toppings Off a Customer's Pie

A pizza delivery guy in Saint Petersburg, Russia, was caught on an elevator security cam selectively removing pizza toppings off a customer's pie with his bare hands, and then shoving them in his mouth.

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