Bitcoin Boss Charlie Shrem Pleads Guilty

After facing federal money laundering charges, accused of aiding the notorious Silk Road drug market, bitcoin booster Charlie Shrem is taking a plea bargain. He seems very happy about it. » 9/02/14 12:51pm 18 minutes ago

Justin Bieber Slapped With Assault Charge for Canada ATV Crash

Bored miscreant Justin Bieber has been charged with assault and dangerous driving following his arrest Friday by police for crashing his ATV into a minivan near Statford, Ontario, Biebs' hometown. » 9/02/14 12:44pm 26 minutes ago

North Korea Still Owes $393,000,000 For Volvos It Bought In 1974

When we ran a story a while back about the cars of North Korea, one photo in particular caught my eye. In that photo was a green 1974 Volvo 144, which made me wonder if it was part of those 1000 legendary stolen Volvos I'd heard rumors about. It was, because those rumors are true. » 9/02/14 12:36pm 34 minutes ago

At Least 17,000 People A Year Die on Bangladesh's Roads

Bangladeshi writer Tahmima Anam has a heartbreaking editorial on Bangladesh's dismally maintained, murderous roads and waterways in today's Times: As she details, using WHO stats, at least 17,000 people die a year on Bangladesh's roads, not always while they're in vehicles. » 9/02/14 12:22pm 48 minutes ago

Yes, It Is Still Fine For Men to Wear Shorts

Now that a hot summer day has finally arrived on the east coast, it is time once again for self-proclaimed fashionistas to tell men not to wear shorts. (All the men that take fashion advice from, that is.) Let us remind you of another point: wear shorts. It's hot. Don't be ridiculous. » 9/02/14 12:06pm Today 12:06pm

Texas Highway Shut Down for Hours Following Gigantic Beer Can Spill

Houston Police spent five hours this morning cleaning up a highway covered in beer after an 18-wheeler carrying dozens of cases of Busch beer and a car collided on the Katy Freeway. KHOU reports that the 18-wheeler jackknifed and rolled over, spilling the hundreds of beer cans across multiple lanes of the highway. » 9/02/14 11:58am Today 11:58am

A Very Confused CNN Wonders: "Who is 4chan?"

After this weekend's stolen nudity spree, clueless reporters across the world are wondering: where is Reddit? When is iCloud? And who is Some sort of "hacker"? CNN technology analyst Brett Larson is here to identify a website. » 9/02/14 11:42am Today 11:42am

Horny Redditors Donate Thousands to Cancer Research in J-Law's Honor

The bizarre silver lining to this whole leaked celebrity nudes thing: a group of Redditors is so enamored with Jennifer Lawrence's naked body that they've donated thousands of dollars to the Prostate Cancer Foundation in her honor. » 9/02/14 11:15am Today 11:15am

What's Your Strategy for Messing With the "Islamic State"?

Barack Obama talked to the media last week about U.S. action against the Islamic State and went off-script, saying offhand that the U.S. didn't have a strategy yet for defeating the fundamentalist dirtbags muscling in on Iraq. But what would a good strategy look like? How do you solve a problem like Sharia? » 9/02/14 11:05am Today 11:05am

Dream Wedding Ends With 3 Arrests After Groom Hits on Pregnant Worker

A wedding in Pittsburgh's Station Square ended in a bloodied mess when three men were arrested for fighting outside of the reception late Saturday night. The groom, who was among those arrested, reportedly triggered the brawl after allegedly hitting on a pregnant reception worker and then challenging the worker's… » 9/02/14 10:27am Today 10:27am

Angelina Jolie's Wedding Outfit Had Her Kids' Scribbles All Over It

Used to be Angelina Jolie showed everyone she was a wild angel by allowing the actor Billy Bob Thornton to perform acts of coitus with her and having a godawful dragon tattoo. Now that she's more mature, she has to dream up new ways to subvert our perceptions—of what a bride should wear on her wedding day; of what is… » 9/02/14 10:15am Today 10:15am

Sit Back, Tell Us How Special You Are, and Win a Prize

While the drive to take quizzes and fill out surveys online is technically not included on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, it's nevertheless up there with eating, sleeping, and sex in terms of unstoppable human urges. When given the opportunity to reflect on your own special self by ticking off boxes— introvert or… » 9/02/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm