Boston Cartoonist on Obama Joke: I'm Not Racist; I Just Like Watermelon

Today, the Boston Herald newspaper published a cartoon that depicts a man showering in Barack Obama's bathroom. It's a commentary about the Secret Service's recent history of putting Barack Obama and his family in harm's way. It also contains a completely unnecessary and racist joke about watermelons. » 10/01/14 12:35pm 6 minutes ago

John Oliver Patiently Schools David Letterman on English Football

John Oliver, who had to resort to comedy after he realized he would never be a professional soccer player, is still completely obsessed with English football, and happy to spend an entire interview explaining the game's various leagues—premier, peasant, Downton Abbeyto a confused David Letterman. » 10/01/14 11:30am Today 11:30am

Are Bugs Like Shellshock and Heartbleed Really Serious, or Just Hype?

Dear Lifehacker,
So Shellshock is the newest vulnerability that may "break the internet." The last time they said that, it was about Heartbleed. Do I really need to be worried about all these bugs and vulnerabilities, or is this stuff tech companies need to care about? Can someone actually use these against me? » 10/01/14 11:23am Today 11:23am

Sources: Facebook to Apologize For Discriminatory "Real Name" Policy

Facebook sparked a fierce backlash three weeks ago when it began enforcing a "real name" policy against performers and members of the LGBT community. The company initially dug in its heels, refusing to stop requiring people to use their legal names, inciting hundreds of thousands of people to flee to the… » 10/01/14 11:14am Today 11:14am

Cool Girl Amanda Bynes Reportedly Paid a Fashion Nerd to Do Her Homework

Former teen star Amanda Bynes, known for bong-throwing and asking Drake to commit capital offenses against her vagina, briefly seemed like she had it together—she was taking her medication, attending fashion school, and staying out of the headlines. But Bynes unfortunately reentered the public eye this week when she… » 10/01/14 10:47am Today 10:47am

Bill O'Reilly Is So Mad That Stephen Colbert Mocked His Dumb ISIS Plan

Bill O'Reilly is extremely unhappy that Stephen Colbert crapped all over his terrible plan to defeat ISIS with "an anti-terror mercenary force paid for by coalition nations." The conservative host responded to the conservative host parody on Monday in a segment he called "How to Deal With Dumb People." » 10/01/14 9:50am Today 9:50am

Blake Shelton Tortures America's Sweetest Teen on The Voice

Eminently huggable 17-year-old Tanner Linford was rejected in season six of The Voice, but has returned two inches taller and with more performing experience. Now watch this sweet young man visibly lose hope as the coaches remain unturned through the very last note of his song. » 10/01/14 9:40am Today 9:40am

Someday, Ray Kelly Will Shut Up About Stop-and-Frisk

Ray Kelly, the NYPD's longest-running commissioner ever and one of the people responsible for its current status as a violent law-enforcement behemoth, is still talking about stop-and-frisk. If Mayor Bill de Blasio doesn't appeal last year's federal lawsuit against the department's use of the tactic, he said… » 10/01/14 8:29am Today 8:29am

Startups Offer "Pre-cations" to Pre-emptively Burned Out Employees

Americans are famously overworked and terrified of taking vacations. And that is no different in Silicon Valley, where young code jockeys are expected to put in long hours on projects that rarely pan out, leading to burnout and high turnover. But startups are testing a new way to milk more work from their staff: … » 9/30/14 6:38pm Yesterday 6:38pm

Jesus, Is the Secret Service Trying To Kill Obama?

News just broke that the Secret Service may have tried to to assassinate President Obama for the third time—according to reports, agents allowed a guy with a gun to get in an elevator with the president earlier this month and had no idea he was armed until someone else pointed it out. » 9/30/14 6:30pm Yesterday 6:30pm