Resort Where David Goldberg Died Deletes Treadmill Photo From Its Site

After days of silence and misreporting, the Mexican resort where Sheryl Sandberg’s late husband allegedly died in a treadmill exercise an exercise fatality has deleted this photo of its treadmill facility. » 5/06/15 4:20pm 25 minutes ago

The Hamburglar Grew Up to Be an EDM-Loving Asshole Dad

Think back, if you dare, to when you were young. Can you recall the Hamburglar, a pudgy cartoon criminal who wore a striped shirt and whose only dream was to steal all of your McDonald’s hamburgers? Now? He’s got a 401k and a propensity for dressing like Justin Bieber. » 5/06/15 4:07pm 38 minutes ago

Woman Uses Giant Breasts To Crush Watermelons, Purchase a Small Island

Busty Heart has big breasts and tall tales, so she’s perfect for reality TV. She appeared on last night’s Botched not to get her boobs fixed (each is filled with 2,000 cc of silicone, and billed as measuring in at 46H) but because she wanted to get her stomach redone. Along the way, the stripper/all-around-entertainer… » 5/06/15 3:55pm 50 minutes ago

Here's Another Puke-Soaked Episode of NYC's Bottomless Brunch Shitshow

Last time on Manhattan’s Drunkest Brunches, daytime cocktail peddler Pranna was at risk of losing its liquor license after its Madison Avenue neighbors complained about customers’ belligerent, bottomless-mimosa-soaked antics. A notable incident involving a drunk NYU student who claimed to be the heir “half of fucking… » 5/06/15 3:45pm Today 3:45pm

The Hilarious, Brady-Bashing Texts Sent By The Pats' Ball-Deflators

At the center of Ted Wells’s Ballghazi report are Jim McNally and John Jastremski, two longtime Patriots employees who are the primary handlers of the team’s game balls. Jastremski is the official “game ball maker” for the team, and McNally is the officials’ locker room attendant. According to the Wells report, these… » 5/06/15 3:32pm Today 3:32pm

Everything You Need to Know About CRISPR, the New Tool that Edits DNA

CRISPR, a new genome editing tool, could transform the field of biology—and a recent study on genetically-engineered human embryos has converted this promise into media hype. But scientists have been tinkering with genomes for decades. Why is CRISPR suddenly such a big deal?
» 5/06/15 3:00pm Today 3:00pm

California Gov't Aide Arrested for Running a Rogue Masonic Police Force

Cops generally don’t look too kindly on vigilantes, but they apparently hate rogue, Masonic police forces that claim a 3,000 year-old-legacy and jurisdiction in 33 states. Which is why, last week, the LAPD arrested three California residents allegedly behind the Masonic Fraternal Police Department. » 5/06/15 2:32pm Today 2:32pm

Nothing Is Concise or Clear: An Interview With Sean H. Doyle

This Must Be The Place, the new memoir by Sean H. Doyle—published May 1—features the most gratuitous drug use of any book I’ve ever read, and it’s packed with violence, grief, and generally horrible things. In fact, if you were to take out the drugs and the violence and the sadness, you’d really have nothing. But none… » 5/06/15 2:10pm Today 2:10pm

Perennial Reminder: Mariah Carey Can Still Sing

Experiencing Mariah Carey live nowadays is like listening to someone start to make a Forrest Gump reference: You pretty much know what you’re going to get, but you can’t be certain what kinds of twists, turns, and yes, surprises are in store. Mariah’s voice ain’t what it used to be, on account of her being in her… » 5/06/15 1:00pm Today 1:00pm

Creep Who Liked "Gummy Women" Convicted of Pulling Teeth During Sex

A New Zealand man was convicted Wednesday of forcibly removing teeth from four women’s mouths while he was having sex with them. Philip Lyle Hansen isn’t a licensed dentist, and the only thing qualifying to yank out his victims’ teeth is that he likes “fat, gummy women” and felt like he was helping them save money on… » 5/06/15 1:00pm Today 1:00pm

Tweeting Heroes Catch Feds' Surveillance Planes Spying on Baltimore

Last week, we told you about the Department of Homeland Security’s “fusion center” in Baltimore and its ability to spy on Baltimore during the city’s unrest. But where would it get its info? Thanks to a few enterprising Twitter users, we have one possible answer: nondescript spy planes circling the city. » 5/06/15 12:50pm Today 12:50pm