Some Idiot Thinks Taylor Swift Should Date Orlando Bloom

Taylor Swift's "BFF" Ed Sheeran has determined that for her next record, she should date 37-year-old elf boy Orlando Bloom. The Mirror reports that in an interview with Event magazine, Sheeran noted that Taylor and Orlando are neighbors now, which would make a relationship quite convenient. » 12/26/14 9:05am 28 minutes ago

Some Kind of Patriots Sang "Proud To be An American" at The Interview

Among the self-proclaimed heroes who went to a movie theater Christmas Day and "defended" their right to freedom of speech by seeing Seth Rogen-James Franco comedy The Interview were a ragtag group in an Austin Alamo Drafthouse that sang Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" at their screening. » 12/26/14 8:41am 52 minutes ago

Chaos ensues as armored truck spills $4.5 million on a street

Dozens of Hong Kong motorists and pedestrians rushed to grab loads of money after an armored truck's doors opened by accident on a busy road, spilling about 4.5 million US dollars in HK$500 notes (US$65) on Christmas Eve, reports the South China Morning Post. Check out all those frantic bastards. » 12/25/14 5:43pm Yesterday 5:43pm

The Best Games To Get For Your New Gaming System, Phone Or Tablet 

Get a new gaming system for Christmas today? Or a new phone or tablet that plays games? We've got some recommendations for you so you can play some games (and maybe ignore your more annoying relatives in the process). » 12/25/14 2:25pm Yesterday 2:25pm

The Real Story Behind the 1914 Christmas Truce in World War I

It was 100 years ago this very night that something miraculous happened along the Western Front. After months of bitter fighting, soldiers on both sides gathered in no-man's-land in a spontaneous show of peace and goodwill. Here's what happened on that historic day — and why it marked the end of an era. » 12/25/14 1:17pm Yesterday 1:17pm

Tell Us Your Holiday Horror Stories

By now, most of your presents are opened, the torn, crumpled wrapping paper strewn among the dry pine needles on the floor. The egg nog is dangerously low, and you've probably started to run out of ways to distract yourself from your family. But fear not, dear reader, for someone probably has it worse than you. » 12/25/14 12:55pm Yesterday 12:55pm

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

It is time for a Deadspin holiday tradition like no other: our annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits to discover the strangest, unlikeliest, and most awkwardly shaped objects America inappropriately shoved into its various holes. God bless us, everyone. » 12/25/14 11:29am Yesterday 11:29am

Stop Taking Your Screens to Bed, You Humanoid Robots

We've all heard the warnings: if you take your phones, iPads, phablets, Lite-Brites, and laptops into the dormoir, you will not have restless sleep. Most doctors suggest turning that shit off and throwing it out a window before laying our heads down to rest, but do we listen? Fuck no, we've got tweets to write, doc! » 12/24/14 4:00pm Wednesday 4:00pm