Local Newscaster Wants to Know if Waluigi Is Behind Crash Landing

Local news has been speaking "truth to power" since the invention of towns, and there's no better example of why we need regional newscasters than today's LaGuardia plane accident. It's unclear if a fictional villain from the Mario franchise is responsible, but watchdogs at Atlanta's CBS 46 are on it. » 3/05/15 3:20pm 30 minutes ago

Footsoldier in Octopus Uprising Liberates Camera From Human Oppressor

Days after one brave soul attempted escape from its enclosure at the Seattle Aquarium, beginning the octopus uprising in earnest, another cephalopod has taken up the flag. When a filmmaker naively attempted to photograph this beautiful captive creature in the name of "science," the octopus took the camera into its… » 3/05/15 2:52pm 58 minutes ago

Jared Leto Is Blond—Jared Blond

The world waited months for Jared Leto to make good on his "Haircut. #2015" promise and now that he's finally done it it seems Jared Leto, actor and haircut recipient, has let loose—really feeling free, going crazy with hair stuff. » 3/05/15 2:47pm Today 2:47pm

A Bogus Concert Promoter Reportedly Scheduled an Entire Fake Drake Tour

Fans have already bought tickets for a Drake show in Houston that's never going to happen, ABC13 reports. Drizzy was billed as performing at the Arena Theatre May 13, but it turns out the show isn't legit, and the venue—and a handful of others around the U.S.—may have been scammed by a fake promoter pushing a fake… » 3/05/15 2:02pm Today 2:02pm

How Much Are Your Balls Worth? A State-by-State Guide

Earlier today, ProPublica published a fascinating state-by-state breakdown of workers' comp benefits. Because of a lack of federal oversight, the compensation for the same injury varies tremendously depending on the state in which it occurred. For example, a worker in Illinois who lost an arm would receive as much as… » 3/05/15 1:47pm Today 1:47pm

How Unsafe Was Hillary Clinton's Secret Staff Email System?

When Hillary Clinton ditched government email in favor of a secret, personal address, it wasn't just an affront to Obama's vaunted transparency agenda—security experts consulted by Gawker have laid out a litany of potential threats that may have exposed her email conversations to potential interception by hackers… » 3/05/15 1:30pm Today 1:30pm

Welcome to the Neighborhood: The Rise (and Rise) of Suburban Poverty

President Obama's State of the Union Address in January was the highest-profile moment of post-Recession recovery bluster. As Obama noted in soaring rhetoric, "we've seen the fastest economic growth in over a decade, our deficits cut by two-thirds, a stock market that has doubled, and health care inflation at its… » 3/05/15 1:23pm Today 1:23pm

You Are Not Insane, The New York City Subway Is Getting Worse

It's not all in your head. You aren't going crazy. Each day, as you stand there desperately clinging to a greasy pole, just trying to get to work, and you encounter yet another delay, you can tell yourself that it really is happening. The New York City subway is getting worse. The numbers prove it. » 3/05/15 12:33pm Today 12:33pm

Frostbitten Frat Pledge May Lose Four Fingers After Idiotic Hazing Stunt

Fraternity pledges are often asked to give up everything for the sake of the brotherhood during initiation. At Syracuse University, that includes appendages. One Nu Alpha Phi pledge is currently in the hospital with frostbite, preparing to lose four of his fingers, because his bros allegedly made him do push-ups in… » 3/05/15 12:33pm Today 12:33pm

Delta Flight Skids Off Runway, Crashes Into Fence at LaGuardia

A Delta plane skidded off a snow-covered runway at LaGuardia Airport just after 11 a.m. this morning and crashed into a fence. All 131 people onboard the flight were evacuated, and there were no reports of serious injuries. Following the crash, the airport announced that all runways are closed until at least 7 pm. » 3/05/15 12:05pm Today 12:05pm

Milk to Get Worse

When you think of liquids that you'd like to guzzle, does milk make it into your top ten? How about top fifty? Would you like to strike gallons of milk from grocery store shelves and watch as they bleed out into oblivion? Sure you would. Skrrtt—but wait a sec. What if I told you milk could taste like marshmallow Peeps? » 3/05/15 11:50am Today 11:50am

McDonald's Has "No Budget" to Pay Artists at SXSW Showcase

SXSW, Austin's annual sticky-floored music industry sport coat and jeans cocaine marathon, wherein bands willingly exhaust themselves playing garbage sets for little or no money, deriving sustenance from tacos and the hope of "exposure," features a McDonald's showcase this year. And, no doy, they aren't paying. » 3/05/15 11:10am Today 11:10am

Susan Sarandon Finally Dumped Her Ping-Pong Boyfriend 

Oscar-winning actress Susan Sarandon has been dating a man thirty years her junior for the last five years, but you knew that, I'm sure. His name is Jonathan Bricklin, and his job is running a New York City "ping-pong social club" in which Sarandon has invested. The good news is she dumped him. » 3/05/15 9:41am Today 9:41am